Into the Places of Lack

by Chris Koellhoffer, IHM    August 25, 2024

Let’s look at what unfolds between the young person and Jesus in today’s gospel (Matthew 19:16-22) and how this might speak to our time of retreat. There’s a question  for Jesus: “What good must I do to gain eternal life?” In some ways, we’re here because we’re also asking questions: How might we deepen our spiritual life? What does God desire for us and of us?  Where are our lives in right relationship with God, others, and ourselves? So we pay attention and we listen.

Jesus responds by telling the young person that the good he must do is to keep the commandments. What amazes me is that when Jesus tells him which ones, the young man announces, “All these I have observed.” All of them? Really? Every commandment? I’m pretty sure I couldn’t say the same for myself! 

It’s the next question the young man asks that I think is the most significant. “What do I still lack?” Perhaps this is a question we carried with us into retreat, not in the sense of dwelling on our deficiencies, but as a desire to do the deep inner soul work that makes space for the Holy. “What do I still lack?” is another way of asking, “What more might I become with God’s grace?”

I’d like to focus on that word, “lack.”
Jan Richardson notes that, in his lifetime, Jesus reached out to people who lived and struggled with lack. Lack of food, lack of welcome, lack of freedom, lack of health, lack of affirmation, lack of peace, lack of acceptance, lack of belonging. Today, Jesus continues to inhabit those spaces of lack and waits for us to show up to reach out to those who are fragile and vulnerable. He also waits for us to recognize places of lack in ourselves, and of course we will, because to be human is to be limited. But we must never be discouraged by what we find. Jesus reminds us that grace is limitless and God’s love is unconditional. No matter what is happening in our lives, the Holy never abandons us. We recognize our poverty and our shadow and we trust that we are not alone, that the Holy One accompanies us in this seeing. And when we name and claim our own limitations, we can more easily grow our compassion and tenderness for others in theirs.

Jesus invites the young person to follow him. But the young person “went away sad for he had many possessions.” “Possessions” here might mean riches but we might also read it as another kind of owning. Could it also mean that this person wasn’t willing to surrender and let go of whatever stood between himself and a deeper relationship with God? Perhaps he wasn’t willing to do the necessary inner soul work that might transform him. Perhaps he didn’t trust that his openness to God’s grace was enough or that grace itself was enough.

In this desert time of retreat, Jesus also calls us to follow him. He knows that in this time of prayer and silence and reflection, we may uncover places of lack in ourselves. There is hope in the uncovering, as Jan Richardson notes about our time in the desert. She writes that this solitary time in the desert, in our retreat, is also the place where God provides: Manna. Wellsprings. Angels. And honey from the rock.

So may we enter into these days with confidence. With the deep knowing that every minute of every day, the grace of the Holy One accompanies us. May we experience the truth that whatever is revealed to us, God’s grace is not only sufficient. It is more than enough!

May it be so!

Takeaway
Sit in stillness with the Holy One.
Might there be a place of lack in yourself that you notice or are struggling to work on?
Share it with the Holy One.
Ask for the grace to enter into whatever spiritual practice will move you, with God’s grace, closer to wholeness and well-being.
Offer this practice for the life of the world.

Featured Image: Vadim Bogulov, Unsplash

NOTE:
This reflection was originally offered on August 19 during a directed retreat at Mercy by the Sea in Madison, CT. I was a guest director there August 18-25.

Please note that this will be my last blog post until October 13. Every year it’s my practice to take some time away from writing my blog in hopes I can return refreshed and renewed. So this year, I won’t be posting in September but I will have a very full calendar that month. Please hold in your prayer all who will be part of these upcoming retreat experiences:

September 6-13:
Guided retreat for the Sisters of Mercy in Sea Isle City, NJ
This is a re-scheduling of a guided retreat planned for autumn of 2023, when I tested positive for Covid. I’m grateful to the Sisters of Mercy for their gracious understanding at what was, for them, a great inconvenience.

September 17-24:
Directed retreat at Eastern Point Retreat House in Gloucester, MA. I’ll be one of the guest directors for this retreat.

October 6-11:
Travel and guided retreat at the retirement home for the Sisters of St. Joseph, Brentwood, Long Island.

Thank you for your prayerful remembrance of all who will be part of these retreats. Thank you!

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