
by Chris Koellhoffer, IHM
Have you noticed any nudges lately? That’s what I call those gentle whispers that invite us into movement of some kind. Like feeling called to help your next-door neighbor who struggles with grocery bags. Or sending an email, a text, a handwritten note of encouragement to a person who’s occupied your concern for some time. Or feeling drawn to pause and take in a beach, a forest, a sky full of stars for needed moments of stillness. Or practicing gratitude for everything.
I believe the Holy One is always nudging us towards good and that this same loving God is fond of repetition, meaning that in case we miss the first nudge, there will be a second and a third and on and on until God has our attention.
Recently, I’ve been nudged repeatedly to reflect on this sentiment from the Book of Tobit: “In the land of my exile, I praise my God.” (Tobit 13:6) I wonder that I didn’t notice it before but lately, this antiphon has turned up more than once in my morning prayer in Give Us This Day, which makes it a nudge.
It’s the contrast that gets me. Yes, I’m right there praising the Holy One when I’m relatively pain-free. When my family and friends are without crisis. When my spirituality ministry feels like abundant grace. When I sense the nearness of the divine. From there, it’s an easy move towards gratitude, where my prayer seems to be a three-parter to God: “Thank you. I’d like some more. And I want everyone to have what I have.”
But what about the other times? How is it that Tobit could praise God from a place where gratitude doesn’t come easily: a land of exile? Or seeming abandonment? Or chronic ill health? Or heartache or loss or shame or failure?
I’m reminded of Henri Nouwen’s belief that the practice of gratitude involves challenging and hard soul work, a work that embraces all of our life stories, not just the joy-filled ones. Nouwen noted that we are only truly grateful people when we can thank God for everything. It’s a practice of trusting that even the most painful experiences don’t happen outside of God’s loving presence.
That doesn’t mean that all that happened in the past was good, but it does mean that even the bad didn’t happen beyond the loving care of a tender God. True spiritual gratitude embraces all of our past, the good as well as the bad events, the joyful as well as the sorrowful moments. Once all of our past is remembered in gratitude, we are free to be sent into the world to proclaim good news to others. Today and every day, may we cultivate the attitude that the Holy One accompanies us through every moment of every day of our lives, no matter what.
Takeaway
Sit in stillness with the Holy One.
You may want to call to mind a time in your life marked by pain or loss or heartache.
What might you now be able to notice or name as grace at work in you in the experience?
If doing this seems too much, then simply tell the Holy One your feelings and ask for a deepening sense of God’s nearness in your life.
Offer words of gratefulness whenever you are nudged to give thanks this day.
Featured Images: Wilhelm Gunkel, Unsplash; Ann, Unsplash
NOTE:
Please hold in your prayer these upcoming events and all who will be part of them:
July 4
The 250th Anniversary of the United States of America
May each of us live more deeply into our call to be a people marked by welcome, inclusion, and respect for the common good.
July 7-14
Directed retreat
Sisters of St. Joseph Spirituality Center, Ocean Grove, NJ
I’ll be one of the guest directors for this retreat.
July 24-25/26:
IHM Assembly/Jubilee
Thank you!
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by Chris Koellhoffer, IHM March 1, 2026