How We Are Formed

by Chris Koellhoffer, IHM      October 13, 2024

In his letter to the Corinthians (1 Corinthians 5:1-11), Paul reminds us that we see from where we stand. Our hope is that we always stand among the vulnerable and the oppressed and on the side of the poor. Our prayer is that we always see from the perspective of the Gospel.

In the Gospel (Luke 7:36-50), we’re introduced to another way of seeing: gazing. In the days of this retreat, we’re invited to spend time not just looking, but gazing. So what’s the difference? The iconographer, William Hart McNichols, helps to clarify that. He writes about gazing as a way to pray with icons. We keep our eyes focused on the image before us. We linger. We notice: What do we see? feel? What’s happening in the image? What might God be saying to us through the icon? This way of praying connects closely with Ignatian contemplation, imaginative prayer where we place ourselves in a Gospel passage. We notice, we pay close attention to everything that’s unfolding. We gaze.

McNichols, the iconographer, makes this startling statement: he says that we are formed by what we gaze at. We are formed by what we gaze at. Think of how we might spend time when we’re not on retreat. Perhaps we gaze at the Scriptures or a book of prayer. Perhaps we gaze at our partner or our children or grandchildren. Perhaps we gaze at our phone, our computer, the TV, the weather, the news. Whatever we gaze at and spend time with is shaping us, forming our worldview.

So who or what has been forming us? These days of retreat invite us to explore that question and enter into a deeper, more focused gazing. Gazing at the face of the Holy One. Noticing the divine at work within us and around us. Gazing at the Scriptures as we break them open. Gazing in awe at the natural beauty around us.

When we listen to today’s Gospel, it’s clear what this woman who had no name other than “sinner” had been gazing at: Jesus. If we’ve ever been in love, we understand gazing, don’t we? We just can’t get enough of focusing on our beloved. From experience, we know that love sometimes makes us do daring things, and fixing her gaze on Jesus is what gave this woman boldness and incredible courage.

When she heard that Jesus was having dinner in a Pharisee’s house, she decided to show up uninvited. In Jesus’ time, it was utterly scandalous for a woman to interrupt a gathering of Jewish men, so we can imagine this woman trembling as she entered the room where Jesus, and Simon, and a group of men were eating. Immediately, she could feel disapproval, perhaps anger, certainly annoyance. But clearly, she kept her gaze fixed on Jesus, and that gazing emboldened her to do what she had come to do.

First, she wept. Her tears were a welcome anointing of Jesus’ feet in the Pharisee’s house. We can imagine her bending low and wiping his feet with her hair, kissing them, anointing them from the alabaster flask. That’s a pretty extravagant and dramatic gesture of love, isn’t it?

While all this was happening, Simon, who had invited Jesus to dinner, sat in judgment. He looked at this woman with a critical, disapproving eye. It’s a pretty safe bet that this was not the gaze of love! So Jesus asked him an interesting question, “Simon, do you see this woman?” Jesus was asking, do you really see this woman who has dared to enter your home? This invisible, unnoticed, silenced woman? Can you look beyond the gossip that surrounds her, and see who she really is? Can you see that she’s done for me what you completely overlooked? She washed my feet in welcome, anointed me, and wept. And she will be forever remembered for what gazing inspired her to do.

In a special way during our retreat, the Holy One invites us to gaze upon the face of God, upon ourselves, upon our neighbors, upon our beautiful yet wounded world. To gaze in love and in kinship. And with the certain knowing that as we are gazing at God, the Holy One is surely gazing back at us. With tenderness. With understanding. With extravagant and endless compassion. With a love that knows no limits and has no end.

So, let’s keep on gazing. May it be so!

Takeaway
Sit in stillness with the Holy One.
Fix your gaze on a houseplant, a pet, a bird, another living being, or a photograph of a person who is beloved to you.
For several minutes, linger and simply gaze at whatever/who ever you have chosen.
Focus your love on that being. Notice: What do you see? feel? What might God be saying to you through the being on whom you gaze?
Give thanks to the Holy One for the gift of this life in yours.

Featured Image:  Frank McKenna, Unsplash

NOTE:
Thank you for returning to Mining the Now after a hiatus during the month of September. I hope you’ve been well and blessed during this time. Since we last met, I’ve been privileged to offer a guided retreat for the Sisters of Mercy in Sea Isle City, NJ (September 6-13), a directed retreat at Eastern Point Retreat House, Gloucester, MA (September 17-24) and a guided retreat at St. Joseph’s Convent, Brentwood, Long Island (October 6-11, including travel). I’m most grateful for your prayer and support of my ministry in those holy places.

As you can see, this blog post was adapted from a homily I offered on September 19 during the directed retreat at Eastern Point Retreat House in Gloucester, MA. I decided to share it as a blog post because I believe that the practice of gazing can transform us and change our world. May we  keep gazing with love at our beautiful yet wounded world and all who are part of it.

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