Knowing When It’s Time

by Chris Koellhoffer, IHM   October 26, 2025

Right now in the Northern hemisphere, one season has come to an end while another is just beginning. For perennial flowers, it’s nearing the deadline to surrender and let go. Time to shapeshift and move on. Black-eyed Susans read the calendar first, blanketing the ground with a golden carpet. Next door neighbor echinacea noticed and proceeded to fade its bright pink petals to a somber, dusty rose. Out in the yard, the cheeks of squirrels bulged with a harvest of fallen acorns, while leaves were leaping to the ground. Overhead, geese have been lining up in formation, flapping their wings as they travel to Southern neighbors. Knowing what’s to come, I long to join them.

With a chill in the air, all seems as usual. Except for the lilac bush. What should show only leafless twigs after blooming a bright purple in the spring was now sprouting something out of turn. White flowers! In late October! Clearly, someone had missed the memo or turned the calendar pages incorrectly. Was this the one member of the created world that had not mastered the art of knowing when it’s time?

So I wondered until I learned that drought and excessive heat can cause a lilac bush to bloom out of season, first forcing the plant into a dormant-like state. We had experienced several summer weeks with extremely hot weather coupled with rainless days. Once cooler temperatures returned, the lilac responded to new information that it was safe to come out of hiding and open prematurely. What seemed to be a misreading was actually something different: an attentiveness to the reality of the season, sort of like Mary Oliver’s description of trees that had been badly battered by a hurricane but refused to give up:

“toward the end of that summer they
 pushed new leaves from their stubbed limbs.
It was the wrong season, yes,
but they couldn’t stop. They
looked like telephone poles and didn’t
care. And after the leaves came
blossoms. For some things
there are no wrong seasons.
Which is what I dream for me.”

There are also seasons for our own life decisions: the direction of our calling, the choice of a life partner, consideration of a new employment offer, thoughts about relocating, choices of a school for our child, deciphering medical possibilities so we can settle on a course of treatment. No decision, not even the smallest, is without consequence.

I often note that in these larger life discernments, there are three frequent experiences:
Discernment may be messy, with moments of consolation and desolation.
Discernment may be confusing, as we struggle to truly listen to God at work amid our own mental gymnastics.
Discernment will always involve the companionship of a loving God who will never abandon us, no matter what.

When we discern, we bring ourselves in prayer before the Holy One. We pray to be attentive to what will lead to peace and to fulfilling God’s designs for our life and the good of the world. We gather the necessary information to help us make a thoughtful choice. We seek counsel from a spiritual director, a wise expert, or a trusted friend. We notice what draws us, what we’re leaning towards, what attracts us about a possibility. We also notice what we resist, since both of these are pieces of information. We put everything in a pot on the back burner and let it simmer. Each time we receive new information, we add that to the pot and give it a good stir. As we move forward, we keep checking that pot simmering on the back burner and notice what’s coming together. As we draw near a decision, it’s helpful to try our leaning on, like a piece of clothing, and observe how it fits and how it feels if we proceed in the direction of our attraction. We trust in the Holy One’s presence and timing.

Vivian Amu notes that, “Results may take a long time to come to fruition when we embark on a discernment journey, but believe that God will never stir us the wrong way. That is God’s promise of assurance and hope.”

May it be so for all who at this moment are stirring the simmering pot and searching for a way to live in the place of love that the Holy One offers. We are with you!

Takeaway
Sit in stillness with the Holy One.
Open your hands, palms up.
Hold in your palms a choice, an issue, you may be considering.
Ask the Holy One to accompany you and enter into your reflection.
Stay with an open mind, an open heart, and notice what comes.

Featured Images: Jakob Owens, Unsplash; Nathan Dumlao, Unsplash

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