Waiting for Breakthrough

by Chris Koellhoffer, IHM     April 13, 2025

Several weeks ago, I spent a graced weekend presenting to and reflecting with a community I had journeyed alongside as a young adult. In my early thirties, after years of praying that was honest, after soul searching that was often painful, messy, and confusing, I made the difficult discernment to leave my original community and transfer to the Sisters, Servants of the Immaculate Heart of Mary (IHM – Scranton). That decision-making of forty-two years ago merged with the recent weekend in ways that were confirming, surprising, and full of the tenderheartedness of homecoming.

Since then, I’ve been holding the image of doors in my heart. The doors we’re afraid to open. The doors that won’t budge or that lock us out. The doors we’re prompted to explore. The doors that swing wide in welcome.

It can’t be coincidence that right now in the Northeast, spring is bravely opening doors of liberation. Forsythia bursting into sudden gold. Narcissus and Grape Hyacinth fearlessly poking their heads up through still cold soil. Robins and Cardinals warbling songs of hope to welcome the sunrise.

All these signs of courageous breakthrough lead to one of my favorite Lenten days, Holy Saturday. Sandwiched between the utter grief and darkness of Good Friday and the glory and hope of Easter morning, this Saturday that we call Holy is all about waiting. Waiting in the uncertainty of the tomb. Waiting in stillness. Waiting for a stone to be rolled away. Waiting and discerning next steps once that door has opened wide.

I’ve always felt that Holy Saturday’s significance is overlooked in our longing to get to resurrection. After all, isn’t this where we spend most of our lives, this space between loss and hope, this not knowing what’s behind Door #1, this wondering if our lives given over in love are really making a difference for the well-being of our family, our neighborhood, our nation, our world?

To all our neighbors who at this moment are buried in the tomb of numbing grief, who feel overcome by utter despair, who are paralyzed by fear over next steps, who are crushed by heartache or disappointment: please know that you are not alone. We are waiting with you. We are holding you in our heart and prayer. We are standing with arms wrapped around you in the cold and dark of this place.

Together, let us proclaim that sin and death will not have the last word. Together, let us refuse to be intimidated by the heaviness of waiting or the weight of the stone blocking the way to a fuller, freer life. Together, with the grace of the Holy One, on this day or surely on some graced day to come, let us roll away the stone and greet the dawn. May it be so!

Takeaway
Sit in stillness with the Holy One.
Reflect on any door not yet opened in your life.
What does this door look like? sound like?
How do you feel sitting on this side of it?
Share this with the Holy One.
Then ask for courage and strength to move closer to the fullness of God’s dream for you.

Featured Images: Alexey Demidov, Unsplash; Marcus Dall, Unsplash

NOTE:
Every blessing to those who have observed Ramadan or who will be celebrating Passover or Easter. Wishing you whatever freshness and newness of life you long for at this time.

Please hold in your prayer:

April 26 – May 2
Safe travel and blessing for all who will be part of a guided retreat I’m leading for the Dominican Sisters of Grand Rapids in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Thank you.

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