Cultivating a Heart like the Holy One

by Chris Koellhoffer, IHM   July 20, 2025

So here we are these days, engaged in this very countercultural thing called retreat. Why are we here? Ultimately, because we desire to tenderize our hearts and cultivate the mercy that the Holy One desires. Ah, but there’s a bit of a wrinkle, isn’t there? Because to tenderize our hearts, we have to change in some way. We have to move from where we were when we arrived to where the Holy One is calling us though deep listening.

And about this moving: Like the people of Israel hurrying into the wilderness (Exodus 11:10-12:14); like the disciples following Jesus who had no place to lay his head (Matthew 12:1-8), we can’t carry a lot of luggage with us. We carry in our hearts these days the weight of the lives lost to floods in the Texas Hill Country, the terror of our immigrant sisters and brothers on the move, and so much more. During this retreat, we  need to pare things down to an attitude of readiness. To enter into deep inner soul work.

What does it mean to eat and to live like people in flight? This question reminded me of  my first trip to Haiti in 1993. I was invited to be part of a human rights delegation when Haiti was under brutal rule by the oppressive Tonton Macoute. Our delegation was charged with gathering stories of human rights abuses and bringing them home to the US to raise awareness. We were told that we’d be traveling in a cramped van and could bring only one very tiny suitcase and one backpack. And since there were no stores anywhere in Haiti, we’d need to bring every supply we thought we might need. For 4 weeks!

Even though I always joke that I don’t go anywhere that I can’t use my hair dryer, my heart was moved to say yes. Every day, we had appointments with Haitian people who were risking their lives to come and share their stories of injustice with us. They were catechists and peasants and clerics and farmers and activists. So the first day, we Americans gathered at 10:00 AM to meet with one of them. Then it was 10:30. Then 11:00 and no one came. Sometimes we waited for hours until it was safe for the person to come out of hiding to meet with us.

I still carry their courage and their passion in my heart. I thank them for stretching my worldview and witnessing to me what it means to live like those in flight. To come out of the shadows and speak up for the common good. To entrust your life to the mercy of the Holy One. To hold your possessions, your time, your convenience very lightly. To take the long view of what is really essential.

We know that when people are on the move, like the Israelites or the disciples who followed Jesus, sometimes they’re uprooted in seconds. So when we see the disciples plucking grain on the Sabbath because they’re hungry, we get it. It’s like having a minivan full of hungry children and no McDonald’s in sight. And yet the Pharisees ignored the very critical human need for food and instead focused on the rules. They overlooked what was moral and pastoral: feeding bodies and showing mercy.

I like how the Message Bible translates the response Jesus gave to the Pharisees. We’ve heard it as “I desire mercy, not sacrifice.” In the Message Bible, the Pharisees complain: “Your disciples are breaking the Sabbath rules.” And Jesus responds, “I prefer a flexible heart to an inflexible ritual.” A flexible heart!

As we listen to the directions for the Passover meal and how to eat it, those words remind us of the modern day thousands who are on the move, and not by choice: our neighbors at the border. The people of Gaza and South Sudan. All refugees holding their breath on an uncertain journey. All people living with the threat of bombing or famine. All those in flight.

So during this retreat, as we’re seeking our own healing and wholeness, may we not stand at a distance from our neighbors in need, from the woundedness of our world.

May we spend this time and the days that follow deeply contemplative, radically generous, and always attentive to the movement of the Holy One. May we cultivate and take home with us a heart that is both merciful and flexible. May it be so!

Takeaway

Sit in stillness with the Holy One.
You may want to place before you a small suitcase or traveling bag.
Spend some time reflecting on what you might want to pack in it: what will work for your well-being, or bring you comfort, or provide for your essential needs.
Invite into your prayer all those who at this moment are fleeing for their safety or for a place of peace and hope, and who have no time to pack.
Add comfort and compassion and spaciousness of heart to your bag. Offer a gesture of sharing it with your neighbors.

Featured Images:   Salah Darwish, Unsplash; Sisters of IHM, Border photo

NOTE:
This blog post was adapted from a reflection I offered on July 18 at the Sisters of St. Joseph Spirituality Center in Ocean Grove, NJ, where I served as a guest director for a directed retreat. Thank you for your prayerful support for all who are still part of that retreat.

July 25-27:
Please hold in your prayer my IHM Sisters and Associates as we gather for our annual Assembly and Jubilee weekend in Scranton and on Zoom. Thank you.

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